I'm a Big Hit with 8 Year Old Girls / Janice's Big Visit

The Kid's Choice Awards was a lot of fun this year. I did see Hayden, but I wasn't able to work my game. Her loss.

However, the after party wasn't as elbow rubbing-y as I was expecting. They really do make the KCA's for the kids. Lots of slime, lots of tater tots & chicken nuggets, lots of kids running around with chocolate sundaes smeared on their faces. It was essentially a huge carnival.

They did have free beer though. So I stayed for a little while longer, chatting with my coworkers, munching on bland fish and chips, and sipping Amstel Light.

My pocket kept buzzing the entire time due to texts from an extremely drunk Janice. She was sloshed and it was only 8:00. It was time for me to meet up with destiny.

As I was headed out the door, I felt a tiny finger poke my kidney. "What the--?" I spun around and there was a clan of about six or seven little girls, probably around 8 years old, looking up at me. The bravest one yells out, "OurfriendAshleythinksyou'recute!!" They then shrieked and then scattered, leaving me scratching my head.

I guess you gotta take it where you can get it.

***

Onto my reunion with Janice. Oh Janice. Oh Janice.

When I arrived in the bar to meet her, I actually had to brace myself at the nearest barstool to keep from being knocked over. She was already in that sloppy stage where her eyes were half open and she was adding extra "s"es to all her words.

But the key to hanging out with Janice (or any girls with a similar personality) is that you have to be on her level or even beyond. You have to be drunk. Her voice is still the same high pitched, whine that can make your eye twitch involuntarily. To her credit though, she can let loose and that can be fun.

I have to admit that she was actually fun to hang out with. Again, I found myself in a situation where it was just me and 5 other girls at a bar (none of which I was overly impressed with). But the drinks were flowing, the music was good and for the first time in a long, long time... I found myself on the dance floor. How could I deny the sweet, sweet beats of Hi Five's "She's Playing Hard to Get"??

There was a cute, blonde girl I noticed in a booth, being very animated, chugging a Bud Light. She was with 4 other girl friends and was making them crack up, although I couldn't hear what she was saying. But a funny, cute girl, drinking beer... always stands out to me. How refreshing!
I frantically texted Leo and Veronica to come meet me... I needed someone there for moral support! Alas, they were out west and would not join. Even though I was feeling unusually motivated for some reason, I had to let this one slide. What could I do really? It's extremely difficult to try and approach a girl when she's out with just her girlfriends.

No feeling up took place with Janice. At one point in the night, she pulled me (literally) and kissed me. My shirt is now missing the second button from the top. It was an awkward 4 second kiss before I pulled away and made some kind of lame joke. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And besides, I didn't want to make out on a dance floor, I've been there before and it wasn't pretty. She did take my hand and place it on top of her right boob. That's the most action I've gotten since... Lord knows how long. I've missed boobs.

But again, what am I supposed to do? Grope a feel in the middle of the dance club? Come on, I have SOME class.