A Tale of Two Parties

A different sort of mentality begins to take over the single guy, almost instantly when the relationship ends. At least, it did for me.

It happens slowly at first, but that darkness starts to sweep over like the symbiote suit in Spider-Man. I've discussed the matter before, but it's been awhile and I'd like to do so in depth.

This is the issue of Girl/Guy Ratio at parties.

W-w-what's come over me??

One of my LA friends had one last hurrah before he took off for grad school in Chicago. Of course, our usual entourage of friends (made up of all dudes) were present. My friend Michelle lovingly calls us "Penisville".

So I crack a couple beers, make some dick jokes with the same guys who have heard the same dick jokes I told the last time we had a party, and after a bit I look up to see if there is someone new I should be socializing with.

The apartment was packed. Two coolers full of beer and not an end in sight. And 2 girls.

...


I hate being that guy. I really do. I hated those guys when I was in a committed relationship. I used to tell the "cockfest" whiners to shut the hell up and enjoy the time you're having with your boys. Easier said for someone like me who knew who I was going home with at the end of the night.

Now being on the other end, I admit that I was actually getting... kind of... well, pissed about the situation. I was THAT kid and I was embarrassed by it, but if I was honest with myself... it's who I have become. I glared at my friends with laser eyes, cackling over their beers, and thought to myself, "Come on, fellas! We're not complete tools! We're not that sore on the eyes! All of our powers combined, NONE of us can come up with any friends who are female??"

I bring Jenny whenever I can, but I can't be expected to deliver the goods every time!

* * *

Fast forward to last Saturday. My friend Veronica had her friends gather at a bar in Venice. The night as a whole wasn't anything out-of-this-world, spectacular by any means. But it was fun and a lot more enjoyable than the previous "AnotherWordforPenis + AnotherWordforGathering".

And I'm going to make the bold claim, in that it was because there was a handful of girls present.

I'm not saying that hanging out with your best guy friends is anything to bitch about. I'll guzzle a 12 pack of cheap beer and geek out to Bloodsport with my guy friends and have it be an absolute blast.

But just having a different dynamic is refreshing. These girls don't even need to be anyone that I'd be interested in or even try to get on. It's not even about the possibility of anything happening at the end of the night. Girls bring on a different element to a party. Variety is the spice of life.

Case in point.

Getting back from Veronica's party, I got a drunk dial from Lisa.

That's right. 1/2 of team UCLA Hunnies. Fuck. Yes.

She wanted to hang out with us. The planets must have been aligned because Leo was all for the reunion.

There was no chance that either of us were going to pursue anything sexually with our lil' drunkard. We wanted her to hang out purely for entertainment value; the kind of entertainment that can only come from an inebriated female.

Leo and I stifled our laughter as we listened to Lisa go on about how great her ass is and how tiny her feet are. In the middle of her story and her request for top ramen with eggs, she passed out on the kitchen table.

With that, Leo retreated to his room. I lead her to my bed and lent her my favorite soccer shorts (she would have been content being spread eagle in her jean skirt, but I thought she would regret it later). I grabbed my spare blanket and headed for the couch.

Girls. Fucking entertaining.