You'll Help Me w/ My Online Dating Profile, Right? Pt. 2: The Profile

Alright, remember that part where I said I'd write 3 different options and then have everyone vote?

I realized that's a lot of fucking work. And I'm a lazy, lazy man.

Instead, I am just going to cut and paste what I've written and you give me feedback (after Leo has given it a quick once-over, of course). I know you guys well enough to know that you won't hold back. If there is something that stands out that makes me look like a fucking tool... tell me. If you think something is particularly witty, hey... we all love positive feedback!

On your mark. Get set. Let's rock this bitch.

But first let me grab my King Cobra. I don't know why I'm so nervous about this...

There's been a bit of confusion. I will designate everything I put in the profile in QUOTES. Everything else is just my commentary to you guys!

Part 1: Physical Appearance

Best Feature: They ask you what Your Best Feature is. Such an unfair question. I mean, I feel like a total douchebag for having to actually point this out. I do get compliments on my eyes, so I guess I'll go with that.

Really puts that classic blue bar in perspective, doesn't it?

I put "Eyes".

Height: Goddammit. I knew this question was coming. I really, really don't want to put 5'3". I mean, I can be 5'4" if I wear the right shoes... does that count??

Sigh.

I put "5'3""

Part 2: The Part About Drinking

I think it's bullshit that the only options they give are "Never", "Socially; 1 or 2 drinks", and "Regularly.

I certainly drink in social situations, but who only drinks 1 or 2?? Fucking liars, that's who. But if I put "Regularly", I look like a complete wineo. Thoughts?

I put "Social Drinker"

Part 3: Tagline

"It's tough out here, kids."

Part 4: About Me

"If someone would have told me 2 years ago I'd be sitting here stressing out about how to describe myself on a dating website, I would have taken their 8th rum & coke away.

But here I am. Times they are a changin'. My best friend and roommate ever since i moved to LA is traveling the world, so I thought this would be a good of an excuse as any to start meeting new people.

I'm always down to meet interesting and intelligent girls. A great sense of humor is undervalued these days. I'd like to meet a girl who is serious about her career, but won't shy away from spontaneously going out on a weeknight. Oh and naps. She must love naps.

This should be good enough for now, but I'll think of something really good (tolerable). I just need time!"

Part 5: For Fun

"Any Friday or Saturday night, you'll catch me at the bars laughing at some lame joke with my good friends. I may or may not be busting out a karaoke classic (not the cliche'd stuff either). I try to get in a game of soccer every once in awhile."

Part 6: Favorite Hot Spots

"I've developed an obsession with eating out at restaurants in Los Feliz. I'm a weekend warrior; I like to round up the troop and hit the bars. I haven't lived in Burbank very long, so I'm at a loss for "hot spots"."

Part 7: Favorite Things

Movies: Eternal Sunshine, Shawshank, Miyazaki films, Royal Tenenbaums, anything Pixar
TV: Freaks and Geeks, Adventures of Pete & Pete, Ghost Writer, Strangers w/ Candy
Music: Weezer, Decemberists, Beatles, embarassing old school punk
Last Read: Blankets. Picked it up as a recommendation from a friend and it blew my expecations. Quick read, I recommend it

* * *

Alright guys. Thar she be. Give it to me straight. You have some homework to do.




Next Post: The dreaded choosing which pictures you show off to the world.