Bikes and Booze

I was still working late on Friday when my coworker informed me there would be a party at her place.

I decided it would be best if I dropped my car off at home and pedaled my bike to her party.

The sole purpose being so I could get really drunk and not worry about driving home.

Doy.

Of course, there's nothing quite like making an entrance by strutting into a crowded room with a bike helmet under one arm with a Spongebob Squarepants sticker plastered to the front.

"Hey ladies."

The company at the party was a lot of fun. I ended up downing quite a few voda-crans and then joining in for a few group tequila shot rounds. Gotta get drunk and make friends sometimes.

Do you ever end up at a party and get stuck talking to someone extremely obnoxious? Someone who is way more drunk than you are? Yep, that was me toward the end of the night.

I somehow got stuck in the hallway entertaining this random party guest. My mind kept wandering and I kept fading in and out of the conversation. I think it's because she had this really high pitched voice and kept talking uncomfortably close to my face. For some reason, she felt that I was the best choice out of every person at the party with whom to have a conversation about her boy troubles with.

The only part I really remember her telling me was something about how this guy wasn't interested in her:

"And for some reason he just instantly shut off! I was like, "What the fuck?!" But then I discovered out he was a Libra and I'm a Leo, so I was like, DUH! Of course it was never going to work out! It totally made sense after that."

I smiled and nodded politely taking a sip off my alcoholic concoction, but really I was thinking:

"The reason why he didn't like you was because you're a screeching close-talker, who actually fucking believes in horoscopes."

I eventually couldn't put up that charade any longer and excused myself to play some Rock Band 2. As the evening progressed, the more I became "that guy" at the party who hogs the Rock Band. At point, when someone wanted to hear AFI's "Girls Not Grey", I demanded that someone hold the microphone up to my mouth while I played guitar so I could do both.

95% singing on Hard difficulty and 90% guitar on Medium. No biggie.

...

I wonder if I'll ever meet a girl where I can say shit like that and it will impress her.

I'm not counting on it.

This is serious shit.

When the party was winding down at around 2 or 3, I hopped (drunkenly) on my bike and put a call into Bree. She was fairly tipsy as well, but we had a pretty damn entertaining conversation for the remaining hour (or so) while I attempted to aim my bike straight riding home. So, even if she did read that post, I think I'm in a good place still.

We'll see.

* * *

It looks like I wasn't the only one experimenting with biking and boozing. A conversation with my friend Jack later that night:

So@24: So how was your night?
Jack: Pretty good. I'm pretty hammered right now though and I had to come home early to keep from going home with Ashley which was about the hardest thing I've had to do in awhile.
So@24: ...
Jack: So I chained my bike to my bookshelf to keep me from being a weak bastard and changing my mind and going over there.
So@24: That's about the saddest thing I've ever heard.
Jack: Well I'm into this other girl now and I don't want to blow it. So I called Ashley earlier today and broke it off.
So@24: Wait a fucking tick... you broke it off with this Ashley girl earlier today. You saw her at a party LATER that night and she still wanted to sleep with you?
Jack: Well. Yes I suppose, but it's not as weird as you're making it sound.
So@24: And you found it necessary to chain your bike up to keep you from having sex with this girl even though you JUST slept with her? That's like Odysseus ordering his men tie him to the mast of ship and to keep him from swimming to the Sirens.
Jack: That was LAST Friday. And I'm drunk.
So@24: I hate you.