300,000 Drunken Los Angelenos = Halloween

The West Hollywood Halloween Costume Carnaval is legendary. This year an estimated 300,000 people went out to Santa Monica Blvd drunkenly stumbling around in their best costume attire.

I was one of them.

Leo, Jack and I started early... you have to if you plan on making it down there at a decent hour. We met up with one of Leo's friends at her apartment and quickly downed a couple of shots. We met a couple of people at the apartment, one of them being a cute girl dressed in a French maid outfit. Short, cute girl-next-door face, ample bosom. Bullseye.

So@24: So what do you do?
Frenchy: I go to UCLA
So@24: Grad student?
Frenchy: No, undergrad.
-swallows large gulp of Mickeys-
So@24: How old are you?
Frenchy: 20. Well, I'll be 20 next weekend.
So@24: Ahh.

So much for that. She was nice though. Still guzzlin' the 40, we head out of the apartment and follow the crowds of people out to Santa Monica Blvd.

I can't describe accurately enough the amount of people that flooded the streets. I can't do it justice. But there's something about the energy of everyone gathered in one place, dressed like assholes, and fucked up out of their minds off God knows what that's intoxicating.

Oh. And lots of cute girls dressed like hos. The outfits everyone loves to hate.

Night was a blur and my costume was a hit. Lots of high fives, lots of drunkards hollering "USA! USA! USA!", lots of people asking to take pictures, and a lot of dudes grabbing my ass. I got a few compliments from some random girls, which kind of made it worth it. At one point, I remember some chubby, Asian girl actually rubbed my ass for a good 10 seconds.

I also made some friends with some trannies when they offered me a beer. Leo and Jack swept in, grabbed me by my elbow, and rolled me away.

At the end of the evening as I'm struggling to keep my balance on my rollerblades, I noticed that Leo was relatively cranky. I threw an arm around him and slurred, "What's wrong, old chap?"

"Here's the silver lining in the cloud for you. Not having sex in a year, it's not a big deal anymore. You don't expect it. All these gorgeous, half-naked girls we've seen tonight? It's a huge cocktease. And it's frustrating as hell."

Wow. He was right. As much as I like to bitch about not having sex, it really didn't effect me. I'm not anticipating the next time I'm going to park the ol' beef bus in Tuna Town and I'm not worried about it. But with Leo, a guy who is used to getting "his", once every couple of weeks... I can see why this scantily-clad maidens would be a bit irritating at the end of the night.

I guess there always is a silver lining.


Paxton: That's not a silver lining! Leo's just way hornier than you!