Held Hostage

The 'rents and Lil' Bro flew down to stay with me for a couple days to help me whip The Sexy Dojo into serious shape.

This mo fo will be the ultimate of bachelor pads, I shit you not.

I spent all Saturday (hung over as hell from the night before) tearing out the disgusting, red-wine 1970s carpeting and hauling it to the dumpster in preparations for the hardwood flooring. It's going to be real cherry. I gotta grow up and live in a big boy house.

The Lil' Bro needed to get away from things back at home. After the infamous lube incident, like most shitty couples, him and his girlfriend got back together. I don't know how many times they've done this tango, I can't keep up. The chalkboard tally of Get Back Togethers VS Break Up Agains is ridiculous. Oh. At this point, they broke up again. Okay, I'm caught up.

Although he voiced to me that he was a little depressed that "this might be it", Lil' Bro didn't really show any signs that he was upset. This isn't surprising, we're known to put up a tough front when we need to. We've been watching Groundhog Day, drinking beers and laughing it up.

Last night, I left to brush my teeth and Lil' Bro went into the bedroom to make a phone call. Mom was downstairs blowing up the air mattress.

Mid-brush, I heard my brother holler from the bedroom. His voice was quivery.

Uh oh.

Lil' Bro: Mom? Can you come up here?
Mama So: What is it?
Lil' Bro: Can you just come up here, please?

Toothbrush still in hand, I peeked out and looked into the bedroom down the hall. My 24 year old little brother was wailing into the shoulder of my mom.

Maybe the beers wasn't such a good idea. They obviously were the keys to opening the floodgates.

Believe it or not, I actually have a history of not being able to express my feelings vocally (typing it out for strangers on the internet? No problem). Although extremely upset during the initial period when my relationship with Lynn was over, I never once shed any tears. And my ex girlfriend can attest to this; I'm not the most comforting person when it comes to crying. I physically stiffen up, grit my teeth, and get weirded out.

But there are few things more upsetting to hear than a grown man bawl. So while my little brother broke down and sputtered out questions like, "How can someone just change their minds after all these years?" and "Why does it hurt so much, Mom?", I put the toilet seat down, sat, and kept brushing.

I couldn't go into the room, I felt too uncomfortable interrupting that scene. Soon there was no toothpaste left on my brush. I had to go into my room at some point, who knew how long this was going to last?

My brother sat on the floor, his eyes red and sniffling. A grown man brought down like that... fuck, that visual is heartbreaking. My mother standing in her pajamas, not sure how to answer his questions, letting him just vent it all out.

My mother, ever the blunt tomboy, turned to me and asked, "So, you went through this when Lynn dumped you, what did you do?"

Lil' Bro turned his eyes to me, looking for some kind of golden ticket out of this hell.

For the first time, I didn't have a response. I pulled my mental pockets inside out and two moths flew out. I clammed up and didn't know what to say.

So@24: You just... get over it. It just happens with time.

I fucking hated it when people said that to me when I was going through it. It's not an acceptable answer to the ears of someone who has just been told by the person they have been dating that "they aren't it" anymore.

But really, it's the truth. There is a reason why that cliche' is a cliche'.

Is there any acceptable response? I doubt it.