Guess Who Got An Email?

That's right, kids.

I finally got an email back from someone on an online dating website.

However, I can't take 100% credit for this. Because I was so close to giving up... I decided to sit shotgun and give a fellow blogger with whom I've struck a good friendship with, the reigns to my runway online dating stagecoach.

Armed with my username and password (she made fun of my password; a nickname that my ex girlfriend Lynn gave me high school, it's been my go-to password for years), Dolce donned her deerstalking cap and was immediately on the case. She started looking up profiles for me. Some snipits of our convo:

Dolce: So, it's asking if you have a favorite body part? Boobs aren't an option.

Dolce: This search criteria! I'm surprise they don't ask for a sperm an blood sample. Fuck!

Dolce: How about the girls who cropped out guys with their arm around their shoulders. Seriously? Your post about how you want to teach these girls how to pick a proper pictures only scratched the surface.

Dolce: Oh God. I've just become your personal screener. I want to see more emails in that outbox! Get to it!

* * *

I needed a fresh pair of eyes. Dolce did a great job filering girls with the descriptions I gave to her. Thank you, dear friend!

I believe out of the 20 girls Dolce picked, I emailed 5 of them that evening. I sent the following email to one of the girls: a cute 5'2", brunette, atheist getting her masters in psychology. Um. Yes please?

Hey there,

I've heard a statistic that girls on online dating sites get something like 50 emails a day. I'm in shock. But I'll try and wrap this up as fast as possible while trying to make a good impression.

Stumbled upon your profile and I had to shoot you an email. There are a ton of things you mentioned on your profile that I found myself nodding to. Love that you're in the psychology field, although I was a sociology major. I still will read a ton of psych texts (I finished Raising Cain for my second time a few weeks ago).

I too love to go out and grab dinner and drinks, trying out new places. I've had a recent obsession with checking out restaurants in Los Feliz, but I haven't ventured out to Silverlake yet.

I've babbled on long enough. Check out my profile and if I sound interesting at all (crosses fingers!) please feel free to write me back.

Best,
So@24

Short, simple, and I named some things I found on her profile that I found interesting. Sounded like a pretty good equation to follow. The next morning I received the following email from her:

Hey So@24,

Aww, you're e-mail was so sweet! I read your profile and you are so funny (I mean that in a good way!). I love your bullet-pointed reasons why someone should go out with you. Very cute.

So you're HAPA, huh? That's amazing--I've met few guys that share the biracial Asian thing in common. Do you consider yourself bicultural as well? I read an interesting book by Maria Root that discusses the unique struggles of forming an identity when you're from two different ethnic/cultural backgrounds.

I think that's great that you're into psych! I find sociology interesting as well. You may have figured this out, but I am a psychotherapist intern at a couple places and I am finishing my master's in marriage and family therapy. What exactly do you do for a living?

I too am more familiar with Los Feliz than Silverlake, though I am getting to know the latter better now that one of my friends moved there. Where else do you frequent? Well, I gotta run, but I'll catch up with you later. :)

Take care,
Mel

The moment I read that, I got up from my chair and busted out one of these:

I plan on writing back something to her shortly. This is the closet I've come a real date in 2 years since my break up with Lynn. But who knows what will come from this?

Maybe nothing. She might actually just have an online dating profile in order to lure in single male bloggers under the guise of an evening filled with romance only to sedate them with drugs back in her dank lair to harvest their tender organs and sell them on the black market as profit to feed her insatiable heroin habit.

Or she may not.

I hope it's the latter.