Rules to a "Real Date"

In the most recent weeks, my pal Jenny has become my source of "views from the fairer sex". Ol' Jenny is extremely opinionated and has a set viewpoint on everything. Especially when it comes to dating.

I'm kind of a masochist in this way. I can't help but ask her to elaborate on her views on dating, even though I know that 9/10 times it will result in me ripping out my hair.

I walk away from these conversations shutting my eyes tight, gritting my teeth, and praying that this sample doesn't represent the mentality of all women everywhere.

Let me give you an example.

Jenny: See if Leo's brother can hook me up with some Jimmyjane goodies! Explain that I'm a sexually frustrated female friend who hasn't had a real date in over six months and has only gotten recently laid on her 25th tequila-induced birthday which she doesn't really remember. That sob story is worth a free goodie bag in my book!
So@24: I know I'm going to regret asking this, but you haven't been on a "real date"? You went out with that Greg guy recently. What constitutes a "real date"?
Jenny: 1. A REAL date is when a guy asks you out (or in YOUR book, I guess a girl can do it.)
Jenny: 2. It's planned at least a day or two in advance.
Jenny: 3. It's just the two of you.
Jenny: 4. And the "asker-outer" pays.
So@24: Let me get this straight. So hypothetically speaking, if I were you ask you out on a date the morning of the day I want to take you to dinner, you would not consider that a date?
Jenny: Hmmmm... borderline, but acceptable.
So@24: -slaps own face-

What is up with these rules? Why does everything have to have strict guidelines to be considered a date?

A guy HAS to ask the girl?? To any girl who stands behind this, give me a call when you're ready to hang up your corset and hop off the buggy. It's 2008.

I'll agree with the "asker-outer" paying. Fine, that's reasonable and logical. But that means that the asker outer can either be the male or the female.

With these rules, we (being the guys) are so busy trying to figure out these little nuances that it's usually too late. I mourn for the thought that the next girl will have a slightly different, yet equally lengthy set of random requirements.

What do you think, boys & girls? Is this a universal train of thought? Why are these rules set in place at all?