A very brief, lightening speed recap for those who aren't caught up on the Janice front. Crazy J is a huge attention whore, had her middle name legally changed to "Kawk Teez", and a New Zeland kiwi could shame her on an IQ test.
But she has nice sweater yams.
I don't keep in contact with ol' Janice very often (for obvious reasons). And I'm used to the game that she plays... it's a routine we've gotten into. She makes a coy, "cute" joke about how we're going to make out, we meet up for a couple of drinks, and at the end of the night we leave separately. At first I was annoyed by this, but I've come to expect it and if you expect it and don't give two shits; it's all in good fun.
This particular evening, our usual, tried & true method of interaction didn't quite go down as usual.
Now Janice has her good qualities. She is the girl you don't have to take seriously or even pretend to be interested in. She'll take any shot you put in front of her (as long as you do one too!) and can be good for just that "surface level" fun that can be refreshing. Think of her like a shitfaced pinata.
We guzzled Redbull Vodkas, took a couple of "bartender's choice" shots and in general: got down with our alchy selves.
But closing time was drawing near and I could tell my friends wanted to take off. This is how our conversation went down.
So@24: Alright I think we're taking off. Good to see you again.
Crazy Janice: I didn't get drunk enough tonight, so I'm not down to make out with you. Maybe you can try your luck again tomorrow night.
Wait. A. Fucking. Tick.
Now maybe it was booze. Maybe I have just been overly sensitive of girls who will suck the blood (see: attention) of absolutely any male they come across in order to stave off death (see: Caitlin). But I took this as a pretty presumptuous and insulting quip coming from this girl. I never made any gesture that I wanted to make out with her. Pretty fucking bold. And did she just say that she had to be drunk to make out with me?
A visual would be much better than my words will be able to describe, but stick with me. Imagine I am over-acting as all hell. Sarcasm oozing from my pores.
So@24: Oh shit! Me? You?? I get to hang out with you?? With the possibility of making out? Tomorrow?
Crazy Janice: Oh fuck you, So. You fucking asshole!
Patrons of the bar are turning to see what all the commotion is about.
So@24: So I guess we're on tomorrow right? You know, to possibly make out?
I have an enormous grin plastered to my face, I toss up two double thumbs up and start to moonwalk out the door.
Crazy Janice: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
Two of my friends start to awkwardly squeeze past her.
Crazy Janice: Are you friends with that fuck??
Two Friends: Um. Yes?
Crazy Janice: Well fuck you too then!
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Doogie Howser Writing in his Diary on his Commodore 64 Moment
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With every nice guy, there comes this boiling point. Where we get sick of always getting trampled upon, our genuinely nice gestures get taken for granted and taking it up the ass like Jennifer Connelly's character in Requium for a Dream. These girls who just like to dangle the carrot are so transparent, it's laughable. I had to take one back for us.
And I think hit that line when she thought she had some upper hand on me.
Needless to say, I think that's the last time I'll ever hear from Crazy Janice.
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