How Do Fortune Cookies Always Know?

As a favor for picking her up from the airport, my friend treated me out to Thai food last night.

At the end of the meal they served fortune cookies. I cracked mine open expecting something along the lines of, "You are organized and thorough!" or something equally mundane.

To my surprise, I got a fortune that actually made me take a moment and sit back in my vinyl seat. I was impressed with the fortune telling skills of the Chinese:

Love can make a summer fly, or a night seem like a lifetime.

Damn that's good.

A Recap in Numbers

Time Departed for Party: 10:30 pm
Shots Taken Before Entering Bar: 5
Time Spoken with Janice (cumulative): 6 minutes
Girls' Phone Numbers Acquired by Leo: 1
Girls' Phone Numbers Acquired by Jack: 1
Weight Gained by Janice Since I Last Saw Her: 12-15 lbs

Drinks I Consumed That Weren't Mine (aka Fallen Soldiers): Approx. 6
Times I Ate Shit on my Rollerblades: 2
Strawberries/Gaping, Flesh Wounds on my body: 3
Contents in Stomach at End of Night: 0

so cute Vicki Sunisa Jett

so cute Vicki Sunisa Jett

Sunisa Jett or best know as Vicki is Thai lakorn Actress she studying at Assumption University in Bangkok. watch some her photo collection

Sunshine Smile of Pim ZaZa

Sunshine Smile of Pim ZaZa

Pimmada Boriruksuppakorn or best know as "Pim ZaZa" is Actress of Thai lakorn and Thai young singer. You can watch her lakorn at 5 Channel about time 8.30 pm. Pim was born on 5 September 1980 in Bangkok, hight 165 cm, weight 47 kg. ummm! I have to tell you Pim not like a man

Lydia sexy agian from Lisa Weekly Magazine

Lydia sexy agian

I has post her on my blog at Lydia Thai Teen Singer this is newest fashion of Lydia. Lydia have gossip news as she is girlfriend of Taksin Shinawatra The 23th Thai Prime Minister.

Janice Returns

Remember her? If not, check out this too. Or this.

I haven't had any contact with her in months and I was confident that I'd never see her again. But last week, a random AIM box popped up. It was her.

We discussed nothing really substantial, catching up on how work has been, etc.

Janice: so where are you working now?
So@24: I'm still working at _____, but I actually just got back from an interview at ______.
Janice: OMG!!! i work within walking distance! we can do coffee and stuff! sooooooo coool

-rubs fingers on temples-

Just as I'm about ready to make an excuse to sign off (something along the lines of, "I think my penis has detached itself from the host and moving away from my body like an inchworm"), she drops a bomb on me.

Janice: you should come to my party on halloween
So@24: Yeah... I... I'm not quite sure what we're doing
Janice: well my girlfriends and i rented out a part of a bar in west hollywood. private bar. lots of girls
-ears perk-
So@24: Private bar, you say? Girls, you say?
Janice: you should commmmmmmmmme!
So@24: Hmmm. You've sold me. What's everyone going as?
Janice: ummmmmmmmmm... i'm going as a slutty snow white and my friend lindsay is going as the evil queen snow white. hot.
Janice: my other friend is going as strawberry shortcake. slutty. dont worry. everyone's going to be pretty skanky! lol!

Oh well. You know how I feel about these types of costumes, but I won't be complaining if there's plenty of eye candy. I'm just really sold at the private bar notion.

Why is it that people think that their chances of getting laid always increases when there's a "big" party? Everyone gets so pumped up and psyched out about these things that they think that it's absolutely guaranteed ass. Is that really the case?

So here we go again... tonight in West Hollywood, hanging out with Janice just to latch onto her like a parasite and use her for the resources of her friends dressed in sexy Halloween outfits. I guess I should feel guilty about this, but... meh.

This should be interesting.

It's Official

As of the 18th, it's been officially an entire calendar year since I have had relations with a female.

That's including anything involved as well. Like awkward, backseat fumbling, drunken make out sessions, etc.

Each day I come closer to purchasing a WoW account (I will be a Ranger... my name will be Gamblor), switching from my sevens to sweatpants, and living off of 7-11 nachos or Bagel Bites, and masturbating to Japanese anime.

It's been a fun ride, but I'd like to get off now please.

Calm Before the Storm

A horse brays in a nearby field, stamps its hoofs and becomes restless.

A tree full of black birds erupts in a cacophony of sound as they take
to the sky, spooked by some mysterious force...

...The windmill on the old barn, creaks. Begins to move. Faster.

... two children playing marbles stop and look to the sky. A large shadow (too large to be ignored) looms over their intense game. They gather up what marbles they can carry and run. Two marbles bounce out of their chubby grasp.

... the family bloodhound, known for her quite temperament, wakes up from her nap on the front stoop and begins to snarl and bark at "nothing"

... chickens in the hen house and flapping their wings wildly.

...the old rusty barn door bangs shut and swings open again and again

...Suddenly the needle on the ol' phonograph skips off the last track
and the soft melodies come to a screeching halt. Only a dark, rhythmic
hiss comes from it's speaker as the record continues to go round and
round, unattended....

***

In a few days it'll be the dreaded "one year anniversary". Not of the actual break up, but if Lynn and I were still dating it would be 7 years.

I don't think anyone really knows when the exact date is; I mean who really pays attention that closely to these dates except for the people directly involved?

And I think I'm doing okay. At least right now. My habits haven't changed, I haven't lost any sleep or weight, I'm not looking at old pictures or listening to "our songs". These are all good things.

But I am finding myself thinking about her a little more than usual; I'd be lying to myself if I said otherwise. No contact in almost a year. I wonder how she's doing. I wonder if she'll be affected at all in the next few days or even the day of. I'm sure these are all normal things ex-couples dwell on around this time.

I guess we'll just have to see how it'll go down. With any luck, it'll just be another Saturday.

Going Solo is Awkward.

The UCLA hunnies drunk dialed me on Friday night asking if I wanted to gather "my boys" and join them for an old fashioned bbq on Sunday. I was pretty pumped about this and I told them I'd do my best to rally the troops.

Unfortunately none of my friends seem to fancy their company. As in, Leo has made is absolutely clear he won't hang out with them again. And he's horrible at faking polite.

So where does that leave me exactly? As much as I've tried to defend them, the rest of my friends cannot be swayed. "Come on!" I exclaim, "It's a new scene, free booze, free food, a chance to meet some new people, whaddya say fellas?" All the responses have been stone cold glares while I sit with a huge smile and my arms stretched out.

Sunday morning, my cell wakes me up and it's Lisa. She wants to know if I want to meet her and Anna for brunch in their neck of the woods. "Bottomless mimosas!" I agree to go. Fuck it, I should be able to hang out with them if I want, right?

As I'm walking out the door, I yell out to Leo "Alright buddy, last chance to catch the fun train!" His back facing me, focused on his monitor, he throws up an arm which I take for "Have fun. Close that door on your way out."

I have my tunes on, my sunroof is down, I'm about to turn onto the 110 and then I crank the wheel at the last minute. I can't do this. I can't show up to this barbecue by myself! I'm a pretty sociable person... once I've gotten to hang out with you a few times. I'm not quite there yet with these girls and the drive is an hour away, not counting Los Angeles traffic.

Would I have been a complete tool to show up at their place, alone, not knowing them extremely well and not having any idea who their friends are? I get the feeling I'd be considered a little too aggressive or desperate, that I have nothing else better to do (which, let's be honest, I don't).

So I u-turned and walked up my steps defeated. Leo laughed and I had to make a call to Lisa explaining, "Yeah, I'd love to go but I can't get a hold of any of my friends to go with me! Raincheck?"

I spent the rest of the afternoon doing absolutely nothing, a completely wasted Sunday. How am I going to be able to hang out with them again with the embargo set by all of my friends?? I absolutely hate that my social life is dictated by that and there's nothing I can do about it. Should I have gone or would that have been completely awkward and toolish?




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Now playing: Jackson Browne - Running On Empty

Julia Pretty Girl on her bed

Pretty Girl on her bed

She name is " Patcharin " or know as " Julia ". I don't know more about her profile. but have the one I know I need jump to her bed at this time, any time always

Secret Sexy Mission Peemai - Sumonrat

Secret Sexy Mission Peemai - Sumonrat Wattanaselarat

Sexy Photo collection from Mix Magazine agian. In Thailand best know her as Peemai (her nickname) . Did you know "Peemai" in Thailand what is mean?. it mean "New Year". Her came to Thailand actor along time but her became very famous because her change style to lot of Sexy

Ammie-Atitaya Chindechanichakool

Ammie-Atitaya Chindechanichakool

Ammie-Atitaya Chindechanichakool fashion collection photo in the dark room From Mix Magazine.

Roomie Takes The Stand

Here is the exciting conclusion/explanation to this post. Straight from the roomie himself:

Roomie here, feel like I need to clear some things up for the rather embarrassing vibrators under the bed fiasco.

I did not put them there to impart some "get-laid" ju ju or hocus pocus on my SO@24's soul. Although that's not a bad idea. No, alas there is an easy explanation.

I left for France for a couple weeks and rented out my room to my buddy Shane. Shane has a new girlfriend and they're in that PDA "lovey" phase that makes you want to stab them and yourself.

Anyway, they have sex a lot. Shane is known to have a kink or two in him, and he's known for "snooping".... so I hid my shit in my SO@24's room--a place where Shane would never look, and therefore never find, and therefore never stick up the hoo-haa of his lady. I didn't have a problem with them using my bed to bone in, but there is no fucking way they're using my... um... stuff.

Also, you're probably wondering why a 24 year old male has very expensive high-end vibrator(s) in his possession. My brother is the founder and CEO of the company, Jimmyjane. That, dear readers, is what I call a hook-up.

-leans back in chair, puts hands behind head, sighs deeply-

...You have no idea how useful that's been.

Happy Friday.

Hmmm. I guess it wasn't really all that exciting, but it made for some good blogging, eh?

People's Hottest Bachelor = My Twin?

People will always try and find a doppelganger for you. For some reason people are obsessed with trying to find ways to compare your looks with those of a celebrity.

In college, during the Winter Olympics, I was called "Apolo" incessantly. My friends, my mom, I even got a phone call from my grandma gushing about how much I looked like the famous, gold medal speed-skater from Seattle. Apolo Anton Ohno.

I never quite saw the resemblance, but I rolled with it.

This morning, when I reached the end of the internet, I looked up Apolo online to read up on him. My first search led me to this blurb.

Is this true? Are you telling me this guy got Hottest Bachelor for People Magazine?? And I've been told for years that I have an uncanny resemblance to this man. How have I not been able to capitalize on this??

Looks like I got my Halloween costume this year. I just purchased a $60 speed skating suit.

Bring it ladies.

Hidden Treasues Under My Bed

While I was putting my freshly washed bed sheet back on my mattress, my toe knocked something over.

Peering under my bed, I found something to my surprise: a stack of black, leather bound journals and two little, white boxes with ribbons wrapped around them. I didn't open the journals to read them, but I did open up the boxes. Inside, I found these.

My first thoughts were, "Whoa. This is high-class quality shit we're talking here."

Why are Leo's personal journals and boxes of expensive Jimmy Jane vibrators hidden under my bed amongst the dust bunnies without my knowledge?

...

Methinks it's time to have a chat with my roommate.

Death to The Creator of Sexy Halloween Costumes!

I hate them. I hate them so much.

Who the fuck invented the "sexy [fill in any occupation here]" anyway? And the costumes aren't even sexy, they are hysterical. Any time I see a girl wearing one of these cop-out costumes, I just shake my head in disbelief.

Who are these girls who eat this concept up?? They try and make every single costume sexy; that can't even BE sexy. Sexy pirate? Pirates aren't even supposed to be sexy. What else are the costume companies going to try? Sexy amputee? Sexy grocer? Sexy chimney sweep?

I will definitely nod my head at a girl that actually takes some time to think of a costume and actually creates it. One of my friends went as Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction. She wore a push up bra, unbuttoned it just enough so that a syringe stuck out of her chest. That's inventive. It's original (not necessarily the Mia Wallace concept, but incorporating the syringe). It's sexy.

I'm really scared that this year is going to be full of girls all wearing the same sexified devil, cop, Rainbow Brite, and nurse outfits. Yaaaaaaawn.

...

I really want some girl to be a sexy baked potato.

Open Bar Will Get You Street Cred

When GOOD magazine emailed me an invite to their annual anniversary party, I knew I was in for an eventful evening. Every year they throw a party at some random venue in Los Angeles. Subscribers get in for free ($20 for a year and 100% of the money goes to a charity of your choice... not bad!), drinks cost nothing, and there are plenty of attractive Los Angelites to observe.

This year's event happened to be at the Natural History Museum. An absolutely great place to have a party of this magnitude. I arrived with our usual entourage early enough and immediately B-line it to the open bar. Skyy Vodka. For free. I didn't complain. I was going to milk this bad boy for all it was worth.

It's a unique experience; throwing back vodka sodas while standing next to the remains of a giant mastodon. The party was very much what I expected and as Leo leaned over and whispered, "There are so many pretty girls here, yet for some reason... you feel like they are completely out of your league." I nodded in agreement as I took another long sip from my drink. Plenty of girls wearing their best cocktail attire (little black dresses, oh snaaaaaaaaaps).

But as the night wore on, the free drinks started to add up in my 5'3" frame and pretty soon I was convinced that mastodon was staring me down. And with each drink, I started to get a little more reflective (uh oh). At some point, I got separated from the herd and I suddenly had an epiphany. I'm going to walk home. I didn't bid my friends farewell, I just left.

As I stumbled down the stairs of the Natural History Museum, the dark clouds that had been forming all night started to rumble. I began my trek home at 12:00 in the morning. I usually pull out my cellphone immediately, but I think I wanted to just enjoy the silence for a moment. I'm not really sure why I decided to do this; maybe the thought of "our" supposed one-year anniversary is coming up in a few days. One year since the break up, seven years if we were still dating.

I didn't want to dwell on that for the entire walk, besides my head was spinning. I refused to go emo. So I forced myself to pull out my cell phone and make some calls to occupy my thoughts. These drunk dials didn't last very long, either no one was picking up their phones or they couldn't hear me because my cell was malfunctioning. The light sprinkle was now a full blown monsoon. I was absolutely drenched. Gel from my hair was running off my forehead and now causing a bitter taste in my mouth. I wore nothing more than jeans and a t-shirt, which I had to ring out every 5 mins. Puddles formed on the street corners that were at LEAST ankle-deep that were impossible to walk around. It was a pretty pathetic scene.

During the last third of my journey, I thought it was best to try and flag down a cab. I only saw one, but he must have not seen my arms flailing. I'm not surprised he didn't stop, I must have looked insane to be outside in the middle of the night during an LA rainstorm in gang territory. Oh, did I not mention that? I was walking in the stomping grounds of the Blood, Black P Stones, the Rollin 60's Crips, and the 18th Street Gang. I figured I was "ok" though; even gang bangers know better than to be outside in this weather. Besides, I was wearing neutral gang colors. I continued the rest of the pilgrimage switching off between walking and jogging.

An hour later, my hands were shaking due to me freezing my ass off as I tried to align my door keys with the key hole. I peeled off my waterlogged t-shirt and jeans, kicked off my soggy Chuck's and hopped in the shower.

Not one of the smartest things I've done while drunk.


Sidenote: I google-mapped my walk. 3 miles.

who sexy more than between Prik and Prae

Prik

and Prae

who sexy more than between Prik and Prae

Head to Head you think between Prik-Karnchanid and Prae-Pisarat watcharakeerin .

celebrate anniversary 5 year with 5 Hot Model

celebrate anniversary 5 year of magazine HI. see the first page with 5 leading Model in Thailand. Meaw-Lalita , Bee-NamThip , Tong-Pakaramai , Cherry-Kemupsorn and Mareeya Linn

Surprise Care Package

I had a particularly exhausting day at work on Tuesday. Traffic was worse than usual and I slithered out of the car when I finally parked in front of the house. Dragging my knuckles like a caveman up the porch steps, I noticed a large manila envelope addressed to me sitting in front of the door. No return address. I didn't recognize the handwriting. I never get packages, so this threw me off a bit.

I tossed my keys, wallet and CD faceplate on the couch and ripped into the envelope. Dumping the contents onto the table, I knew exactly who it was from. Lynn's mother had sent me a care package for no particular reason.

• various candies; Airheads, Bottle Caps, Jellybellys, Sour Punch Straws
• a tiny wind up fishing game. Do you remember this??
• a postcard with the cover of The Beatles' album "Rubber Soul". A funny coincidence, since she and I used to joke that we'd dance to "In My Life" during Lynn and my wedding.
• random little knick knacks

The smell of the package made me nostalgic. It smelled exactly like Lynn's laundry detergent and the general smell of their house. I haven't smelt that in quite awhile. It was pretty strange, I'll have to admit.

It brought a smile to my face. I opened a Blow Pop and laughed at the situation... how often does an ex's mother send a care package to her daughter's ex-boyfriend?




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Now playing: The Beatles - Norwegian Wood

Burn : Luktan from X-ray

This is fashion on frist page of X-ray Magazine with Thai Actress Luktan very sexy and many man falling in Love her

How PDA Ruined my Saturday Night

PDA. Public displays of affection. As long as I can remember, PDA has never sat well with me. I remember in middle school, my friend Will and I would spot couples that were all over each other during passing time and blast ear-piercing whistles to make them equally uncomfortable. It wasn't very mature, I'll admit that. But this Saturday made me wish I had that whistle strapped around my neck.

I went out to the same wine bar in Santa Monica as I did last weekend. I was already drunk from watching the football games earlier and I didn't particularly want to go out, but peer pressure can be a bitch.

The bar was absolutely ridiculous. After splitting a bottle of wine, our party sat on the couches and my observation of my surroundings began:

It was as if it was Spring Break in Cabo. It's a beer and wine bar, yet there is a good crowd on the "dance floor" bumpin' & grindin' to a horrible techno/rap remix of Outfield's "Your Love". One couple is blatantly making out. We're talking hands down each other's jean pockets while simultaneously shoving tongues down each other's throats making out.

A girl we went to the bar with instantly had three guys trying to dance with her. Within minutes of going on the dance floor, she is making out with one of the trio. Does this get the other two to stop dancing with her? Absolutely not. The Alpha male has his arms wrapped around her waist whispering to her and the other two are still dancing on either side of her! I couldn't believe it. I think I actually looked up at the ceiling and said out loud, "Why am I here?"

Which brings me to... why? Seriously. Why? Why not spare us all your dry-humping escapades and stay at home with your boyfriend/girlfriend? And if you just met her/him that night, GO HOME. Isn't that the whole point anyway? I'm sure at least one of you had to pay cover to get in here and at least $8 for a shitty, watered-down beverage. You'd be saving gas money, cover, overpriced drinks and you could probably go straight to jamming down in the comfort of your own home ("den" might actually be the more appropriate word). No one I have ever come across in my 24 years on this Earth has ever said, "You know what happened last night? It was amazing! I got to watch this couple totally go at it on the dance floor! You have to check it out next time."

So please, PDA couples. Stay home. Do your business there. The rest of the bar-visitng population will be forever grateful.

Yep. That's It.

Brilliant.