Shitty Couples

I am confident that everyone has a set of friends who make up "a shitty couple". You know what I'm talking about: the two people who are constantly at each other's throats, who are constantly holding up the rest of the party train, who say they are never going to speak to one another again only to make up within 24 hours, who break up more times than I have teeth in my mouth. Two stories have come up this weekend that I need to address from two very shitty couples. In both situations, I am friends with both parties. Who should get the Worst Couple of the Year award? You be the judge:

Shitty Couple 1: I guess I shouldn't call them a couple, because if you ask them yourself... they will say they aren't. Girl is completely delusional and I can't count how many times she's gone out of her way to tell me, "We're not going to have sex anymore" after they get into a fight. Only to find out, they boned within 24 hours. Guy constantly complains about the girl cramping his style when we're out at bars, will blatantly flirt with others (with Girl just sitting and staring in the background) and when he strikes out... he shacks up with Girl.

This weekend, they show up to a party already pretty pissy from the get go. Not surprising. But on the drive home, they get into a "squabble" and Girl isn't wearing her seatbelt. Guy demands she puts it on and she refuses out of spite. Guy decides to teach her a lesson by slamming on the brakes and she flies forward and knocks her head on the windshield (that's pretty funny actually). When she stops seeing stars, she throws a hail mary right to his face. Guy gets out of the car, rips off his shirt (that Girl bought him that day) and throws it in the dirt. He storms out and marches up the street with Girl in tow... he threatens to sue her.

She stays the night. The next day, they spend it together in Malibu.

Shitty Couple 2: Second verse, same as the first. They are known to ruin every single weekend. They haven't gone one weekend, in the past two months, without getting into a huge blow out. "Fuck her, I never want to see her again" or "Fuck him, I'm seriously done with this" has been known to spew out of their word-hole's frequently. Of course, this ends with them spooning together by the night's end and the next morning, both pretend nothing ever happened. This last weekend, Guy literally threw all of Girl's possessions off of his apartment balcony. Cutesy MySpace comments are posted this Monday.

Seriously... wtf? I'm not going to say that my relationship was absolved of our fair share of fights, every relationship does. But not to this magnitude and definitely not as frequent. What keeps these people together? Do they really, truly see the other person as "the one"? Who they want to spend the rest of their lives with??

I think I have a higher probability of solving Tupac's death than understanding these couples.