No Way... Pt. 3

This conversation took place immediately after Pt. 2
Am I dating this girl? Is she for real? What have I gotten myself into...

Janice: i miss my buddy... :(
So@24: well... let's talk about it
Janice: okkkk
So@24: wanna start?
Janice: im sorry. it was stupid. im over it
So@24: alright cool
So@24: thanks for the apology, i appreciate it
Janice: but you told me i was crazy and you hung up on me and youre not even going to apologize?
So@24: Janice... you were blowing up on me.
Janice: ahhhh
Janice: ok
Janice: i see how this is gonna work
So@24: How is that?
Janice: because we both think we were right, granted the whole thing was stupid
Janice: and i put aside my pride and apologized
So@24: And I appreciate that, but you don't apologize to someone just to expect one back. I didnt do anything wrong yesterday.
Janice: fine.
So@24: Great.
Janice: i just want my bff back
Janice: what are you doing this weekend?
So@24: I can't believe you're going into work tomorrow
Janice: aandddd youre comin too!!!
Janice: :-) :-)
Janice: it'll be a little fieldtrip!!!
Janice: you gotta
Janice: it'll be fun
Janice: yup, you'll have to stay over tonight
Janice: sleep overrr!!!!

For the record, I actually did not go over for a "sleep over". But yes, I did meet her for lunch the next morning. Leo gave me shit for it (as he should have), but I blew the dust off a pack of contraceptives and gave a thumbs up as I strolled down my porch steps.

But a sober lunch date is not a fun lunch date. I had forgotten how annoying her high pitch voice is or how she says the stupidest exclamations, questions, sentences, fragments I've ever heard spew a person's noise hole. I immediately knew that if I were going to survive the conversation alone, I was going to need the help of my good buddy alcohol. Before our server could even introduce himself, I asked what beer they had on tap.

Server: Would you like the regular or tal--
Me: Tall glass. Please.

Just as I had anticipated, her boring anecdotes began to transform into "slightly amusing". And, no matter how much she makes me want to shove butter knifes into my eye sockets, she is pretty fucking cute. And her rack isn't something to turn your nose to either.

But she wasn't drinking (a Diet Coke, of course). And I didn't want to get stuck in a situation where I would not be able to drive home. And there is absolutely no way I could have made a move to initiate while sober. I stopped myself after a single tall glass of Bud Light. Paid the tab. Gave her a hug and made the drive back. She texted me later thanking me for lunch.

Perhaps there is a still an opportunity to prove to myself I don't belong in a monastery. I just hope there's enough booze in the abbey when that time comes.